the force that can either determine your life or kill you
“I just don’t seem to have a compass to tell me what I’m destined for… And yet in looking back everything seems to fit so well that it’s as if a guiding spirit has been showing me the way.” ~ Nietzsche
Recently I have been having so many things going on in my life and so little time. There are rapid changes and movements in the area of work, potential future career shift, my studies, hobbies, friends, family and travel, lovers and partners - literally every area of my life. I have been so alive and excited about things - about my life in general - and I am also making myself depleted and sick by running around, trying to tend to all the things and give my time to those who ask for it. I have been sick three times in the last five months, and usually I maybe get sick once every other year. Feeling exhausted and running low on energy, and not sleeping enough are common conditions. But for the first time in my life I feel so excited, so driven, very certain about what I want to do and the direction I am taking, extremely impatient about everything that has been in the making, and scared that it all may just crumble and evaporate in front of my eyes… and, at the same time, I am making myself sick. It’s a kind of paradox, in my mind. So… I did a little self inquiry, a little digging, around this wild and fierce energy that I am embodying lately…
The idea of a guiding spirt in us seems to be very old (more about this in This Jungian Life podcast, episode: Daimon: Demon or Destiny?). This idea of the intelligence beyond the ego - something that knows us better than the ego knows itself, something that is holding an expansion of what we should be in our entirety and wholeness; the daimon. In more ancient literature, the daimon seems to be described as something that has its own agenda, something that is being imposed on the ego. Daimon often seems to have its own will and sometimes it’s very uncomfortable. It is forcing us to find our calling, and we have to come to terms with it - consciously and intentionally. Otherwise, it will most probably spin us around, possess and control us. So, what do we do with it? And how do we connect with it?
“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life.” ~ Nietzsche
When we are in harmony with this inner voice, things are more positive for us in life, but we also must not forget that it all comes with a cost. It seems to be no rest when people are this driven. And I gotta be honest with you - I was never this motivated and driven in my life. Career and ambition were never my priorities, and I would always kind of allow myself to drift into experiences, almost stumble upon opportunities, rather than feel this sense of inner drive towards them. But, it is all different right now. When this inner guide takes over, there often isn’t time for worldly mundane things like everyday family events and responsibilities, and social life. The urges can be terribly intense and exceptional. It almost seems like we need to struggle with our daimon.
Some argue that daimon is only present in important and extraordinary, and talented, people - like artists, creative ones and famous people (more on the daimon from a creative perspective here). However, if we relate the daimon to the process of individuation, then all of us must have it - as all of us have capacity and inner drive to individuate, to become who we truly are. It is the only way we can become whole and live with a sense of meaning and purpose. Some people may live their life for the sake of their family, by serving others, if this is a personal sense of destiny or they have a particular talent for it. It is about responding to a call that is within you, no matter how simple or complex it is. The quality of a daimon differs from one person to another.
We can be certainly possessed by this inner guide, it can have us in its grips, and it can even ruin us (think about all the celebrities who are following their career path relentlessly and often end up in such pain and struggle). We can have a problem - even a health issue - when we resist commands of the daimon. It is like having something that makes an inner demand and it is hard to address it and fulfill it because of the outside demands of life. So, there is an inner conflict. When it becomes too challenging and demanding, we can transform it, tame it, into something more acceptable where ego has some authority and some control. At the moment, it is like this for me. As if I am needing to handle a fire spitting dragon. It is as if I really need to have a conversation with my daimon and ask it to please loosen the grip so I can tend to my earthly responsibilities and obligations.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” ~ Gospel of Thomas
I feel this kind of force in me, now that I know what it is, I recognize it - I just didn’t know that this is what it is, I didn’t know that it has a name. At times, I can even feel and recognize that I am in the grips of it, as if I am abducted. I feel that I can’t stop, as if it owns me and controls me, in my thoughts and actions. Often, it affects my relationships with others as wll. When I am with others, as soon as I see that someone doesn't understand me, that is the end of the matter, as far as I am concerned. I rarely feel compelled to explain, give it another try… I leave, sometimes physically, other times mentally. I am done and I am moving on. I often have no patience with people. It feels as if there is this very rigid inner law, a high protocol and procedure that I have to follow and that doesn't give me any other choice. For some people I can say I have been consistently present in life, but this is the case as long as they can relate to my inner world. But, then it happens that I am no longer with them, as soon as that which used to link us isn’t present anymore. I get bored with small talk, and very passionate and argumentative (borderline aggressive) when it comes to things that matter to me. Additionally, I have been able to be intensely interested in many people throughout my life. But, as soon as I have seen through them, as soon as I got to really know them - puff, all magic is gone. And me, with it. I am deciding that I must go on. As if this inner power, this inner and invisible force, take prisoner in my own heart. And I enjoy people, I even love them often. But, I cannot stay. There is something agonizing and heartbreaking about that. It is stronger than me, and I, simply, cannot stay.
From the Jungian perspective, the daimon is seen as a “psychic manifestation of the unconscious”. The existential psychologist Rollo May, points out to the dual nature of the daimon and its potential to be both a creative and destructive force within the individual, or even both. The very nature of its energy is born from the pull - the tension - and at the same time wished for integration, of opposites. Rollo May highlights how important it is not to suppress this source of liveliness and vitality, and at the same time alerts us not to allow the daimon to take ownership of our individual soul ungoverned, as this can cause us to be brutal and even aggressive and violent (I can recognize when this happens in my own being).
James Hilman also spoke of the daimon as being unique to the individual - “our soul’s companion whose presence precedes our birth, who knows better than us the true map of our being and whose purpose is to guide us toward our destiny.”
“Each person enters the world called… The soul of each of us is given a unique daimon before we are born. And it has selected an image or pattern that we live on earth. This soul companion, the daimon, guides us here. In the process of arrival, however, we forget all that took place and believe we come empty into this world. The daimon remembers what is in your image and belongs to your pattern, and therefore your daimon is the carrier of your destiny.” ~ James Hillman, The Soul’s Code
C. G. Jung in his writings often expressed a sad outlook on the influence of his own daimon, and he shared about its demands of him that required great sacrifice in Jung’s life. At the same time, he recognized the exceptional power of the daimon in relation to creativity and the attainment of our individual purpose, voicing that “the only meaningful life is a life that strives for the individual realization — absolute and unconditional — of its own particular law. To the extent that a man is untrue to the law of his being, he has failed to realize his own life’s meaning.” In the attempts of explaining his own life’s work, Jung shared that he developed analytical psychology as a consequence of being “in the grip of the daimon” that lived within him. Well, thank you Carl Jung for this contribution to society!
The word “daimon” is Greek, and in its root it means “to divide or distribute destinies.” The “daimon” is the energy, a being, in the universe that gives us our destiny, basically assigns it. The term later became the source of the English spin-off, “demon.” But, originally, and in the way in which Jung used it, “daimon” is not the negative thing we associate with “demons.” (resource: Jungian Center for Spiritual Sciences) The “daimon” became a central segment of Jung’s thoughts about vocation, motivation, calling, creativity and the individual’s potential for achieving fulfillment in life, as Jung speaks of it as “force as real as hunger and the fear of death”. Because it is autonomous - meaning, it is not under the control of the ego consciousness - it is making all kinds of demands of us, it is acting with authority, and can possess us without our awareness. Its expression cannot be consciously willed; instead, we simply feel something powerful, something with a certain level of mystery - a fierce energy that cannot be denied. It can seem like we are being taken over by some invisible force. The daimon can make us feel like we are caught up in a process that is carrying us along without our will. Naturally then, it requires courage to deal with, because we don’t fully understand this force, neither do we know where we are being transported, or what we are being led to handle. Plus, we often don’t recognize this force as something that is our own.
The negative side of the daimon lays in the English word “demon” - the spirit or a being inside of us that forces us to inflict suffering on ourselves. When the daimon shows up, it often seems uninvited and invasive, it can be a source of discomfort, something painful and uncomfortable to be tolerated. If we could, most of us would ignore it, but it is that powerful that it must be obeyed and submitted to. There is no other choice.
In its friendly and positive aspect, the daimon is our “guardian angel” or “genius,” our higher self or that intuitive inner voice - the part of us that helps boost our strength and resilience by directing us into demanding situations and circumstances, and also giving us the guidance and council on how to get through them. The daimon encourages a dialogue between ego and unconsciousness which can help heal us and make us whole (the desired outcome of the individuation process). It is the connection and relationship with our daimon that gives us a clear sense of our vocation - our calling and purpose. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the daimon gets us out of customs and social norms, because it operates in the timeless realm.
“There lives a creative being inside all of us and we must get out of its way for it will give us no peace unless we do.” ~ M.C. Richards
In the process of waking up (awakening) or becoming aware and conscious of our daimon, the central activity - as Jung put it - is transforming the daimon from an “uncontrolled force of nature into a power that is yours to command”. Part of becoming aware is getting informed and familiar with what is going on inside of us (as it always is the case when doing any kind of psychological or spiritual work). When we start looking inwards, we discover that we are the host to many different energies within us at all times. And some of them, like the daimon, possess the energy that goes beyond our conscious drives, needs and desires, the energy that is beyond what our ego can control or direct. With time, as well as conscious attempts and observation, we can hopefully get to know the daimon, we can start to feel more friendly inclined towards it, and therefore receive its benefits. The daimon will almost certainly trigger our inner conflicts, and these promote a dialogue between the ego and the unconscious. This inner conversation, although not brief or comfortable, can help us become more self-aware and more conscious of our unconscious parts. If it sounds like a a lot of work - that’s good, that is exactly what it should sound like. It can’t scare us off, however, but inspire us to do the work. I know I am nowhere near to the end of this conversation - hell, I am merely in its initial phase. But, I see the benefits.
As it was previously mentioned, part of this awakening - this being more aware - ultimately is becoming more whole. The daimon plays a central role in encouraging wholeness and the process of individuation. Another important role the daimon plays here lies in its function in working with projections, more precisely in taking back our projections. As long as we are unaware, we tend to project the daimon out on to others. And, as long as we do this, we criticize and diminish others, while failing to see our own inner demons, and live our life in an immature manner. Becoming psychologically evolved and mature, independent adults requires taking back these projections, incorporating the daimon within ourselves, and starting to live in conscious relation to it. A final way in which the daimon relates to the self-awareness development is in its unavoidability - it cannot be denied. With this, it forces us to become more self-confident and self-reliant - we have to listen and obey our inner voice. Over time, we may even come to give full permission to living our own lives.
This leads us to another very important function of the daimon - it can pull us out of conventions, customs and social norms. When we pay attention to that inner voice, and when we hear it and understand it - we do our own thing. And this contributes to the independence of the mind and spirit. We refuse to accept the typical wisdom, the traditional ways, and, instead, we learn to embrace our own vision, an inner knowing that there must be a better way - our own way. These visions, beliefs and intuitions come from the daimon. This also means that we have to be courageous; that we have the initiative to stand against the masses, and to march to our own drum. So, if you are struggling with the daimon, just know it is a good future investment.
In the end, we can also rely on the daimon is for its guidance about vocation, our calling. And this feels very personal to me. This is where it all started for me. Those of us who decide to resist the conventional options and more traditional ways, and instead choose something unorthodox and striking - we do so not just to fill some perceived need, or to make an improvement in society - we do it primarily in order to fulfill our calling. Genuine happiness and fulfillment in life lies in discovering and then living out this destiny (at least some of us believe so). How do we then discover what our destiny is? By working with our daimon, learning to listen to it and communicate with it, submitting to it and obeying its guidance. As we do so, many of us are led into the new ways of thinking, living and working that challenge the old traditional ways. While the whole experience with the daimon isn’t completely (or, at all) pleasant, it is indeed exciting, revealing, full of surprises and very satisfying in the end - if we are open to the new, the unknown, the different, the unusual. The daimon will not bring us the same old. We don’t need to be artists and creatives necessarily, in order to experience it. Those of us who refuse to follow conventions need the daimon too, because the essence of exceeding and transcending is trying what we haven’t tried yet.
“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ~ E.E. Cummings
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Until we meet again,
Marina
Man, you put a lot of effort into these offerings. I can tell and it’s appreciated. The whole diamon thing is facinating isn’t it? I’m still sorting out the daimon vs. the Self inside my unconscious. There is something..mmm…with more angst than the loving and patient Self. I suspect it’s the daimon or perhaps the Daimon is part of the Self. Maybe the Yin to the Yang. I’ve identified most of the classic Jungian characters in dreams as well as active imagination. But the daimon..hmmm…I am aware of it’s presence but haven’t really pinpointed it. Kind of ellusive yet powerfull huh?
Great discussion Maki!! I can read this kind of stuff all day!! 🙏